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I can't tell if my friends just genuinely dislikes me; or find me annoying and sees me as a burden. I have a few friends that I talk to frequently, they are all nice and treat me decently, but it feels like talking to a wall sometimes. I was hanging out with my friend yesterday, and she promised me we'd FaceTime the upcoming morning. I've been waiting the since 8AM, and I haven't gotten a single call, not even a message. I tried calling her, messaging her, and she just haven't responded.. I know I'm overreacting, but it's not the first time she's done this. Also when I look at other chats from friends, I wait about a week (At worse) from one of my friends, and she doesn't even respond to what I was saying, and say something completely different. There's so many things I have shared with her, that she hasn't replied to. I talk a lot, yeah. I tend to over share, correct.. But I feel ignored. Another friend I talk to, I sent a message August 9th, 2024. Got a response March 17th, 2025. It
Read moreI genuinely wished I killed myself Thanksgiving 2 years ago. I was so miserable back then, I had gotten academic suspension from my college, my bf broke up with my a month before, my parents hated me since I was failing my classes. Yet, in some pathetic way it was slightly better because I could atleast say I went to a prestigious school and didn't live with my parents (like I do now). I hadn't found out that my ex-bf (who I'd go on to have an on-again off again situationship for the next 1.5 years) was actually cheating on me during the last 4 months of our relationship, with his secret gf (that he's still dating now and was still dating during while we were hu after we brokeup). I swear to god I hate it here. I lost my stupid laptop charger too.
I don’t know whats going on with me lately. Everything feels loud even when nothing is happening. I wake up tired, I can;t sleep and I am always tired like 0 energy, and somewhere in between I pretend like Im fine.
I miss my girlfriend. I fucked everything up all because I can't help myself but ruin every relationship I have by creating unhealthy expectations & then getting disappointed & then isolating. I'm so useless. I hope nobody has to experience someone like me ever again.
This family of in-law control freaks are stressing me out so much, why can’t any of them self reflect?
Just let me plug in the goddamn phone. Or let you know what worked for me. You fucking idiot.
One thing that I thought he'd actually give a fuck about talking with me about failed. I asked if he knew when NK closed borders to USA, and he shrugged and said "I dunno." I found out by a quick Google search, and he said, "Oh." Then I told him that I was listening to a podcast between someone from a defector of NK and a US citizen who visited NK in the last decade. "Okay." That is SO not like him, and it makes me half-wonder if he relapsed, is cheating, or gave up on lur relationship. The other part of me just knows he's fucking rotting his brain on Facebook or Instagram reels, so he doesn't care about real people.
I'm really frustrated right now for our finals and I just don't have anyone to rant to about it because I feel like in this situation, I'm the one who looks bad. Was I really the bad one here? My finals for one class is a 6 people group project in the form of a workshop happening this saturday. Initially, all of us were going to present, but then suddenly, the presentation was assigned to only two of our members including me.
The remaining four also took some tasks: two will be the hosts and two will be the activity facilitator. The two of us presenting both said that just the two of us may not be enough for the presentation, so one of the activity facilitators volunteered to also present, so now she has two tasks- presenting and facilitating.
Then our professor, who was supposed to deliver the closing remarks passed the speech instead to me- and I thought that was unfair since I'm going to be writing my script for the presentation and presenting on the day
Read morePET TRIGGER WARNING
My colleague just busted into the office and loudly blurted out that the puppy that's been around our office was just hit by a truck and is gone. I was freaking shook, but the rest of the office just went back to work like nothing happened. Like, God, do you have a heart? Couldn't even spare 5 mins to think about the little puppy that greets you every morning? And what's up with my colleague just bursting in and announcing it so matter-of-factly? Do they not think that some people might be upset from hearing that? I want to scream at my whole office. Damn it!
I wish I was still at Emory. My life would be x10 better if I still went there.
Idk if it’s just me, but lately it feels like my whole body is begging for a long, long sleep. Not a nap Not 8 hours. I’m talking like disappearing into a blanket for 3 months and waking up when life is normal
It’s not even that anything HUGE is happening. It’s just… everything. The tiny stresses, the overthinking, the constant , My brain just feels heavy
its sometimes really hits that ur "friends" rly dont care when ur in the dumps and can disappear for days but have absolute fucking nobody reach out or even have to talk to when ur gone. my best friend, at least who i thought, just got in a relationship and completely has left me in the dark and i dont wna be a burden so now i legitimately got nobody. sometimes i say fuck it and go to the movies alone and eat alone bc idm being ALONE, its when LONELINESS hits is when it starts to feel dreadful.
It's crazy that you have to live with whatever mental illness you have and it stays with you forever. You get better for some time but mostly it keeps coming back again n again then you realise that you are this person and you will always have to deal with it
Sitting alone on my birthday and drinking since nobody gives a fuck. Only 'happy birthday' I got was from an automated message board bot. Sat alone at a restaurant for two hours waiting for people who didn't show, got a 'sorry, can't make it, rain check? :)' message after texting asking if they were still coming. Don't know why I bother hoping, nobody gives a fuck about me anyways. Bought myself a bottle of vodka, gonna crawl into bed, cry my eyes out and drink till I pass out.
I don't belong anywhere and i just exist. Everything feels so hard, I don't know what am I doing or where in life I am. I don't exist and there is darkness everywhere
I am going to crash out. To my friend(s):
- how the FUCK would you forget after I told you like A THOUSAND TIMES
- Uhm. No. You're not coming to my family celebration...
- Well, thank you so much for just leavi
- I. Don't. Care. About you wanting to do the project tomorrow. MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE DONE IT WHEN I TOLD YOU TO?
To my family:
- thanks for ruining my birthday by writing me the most passive aggressive message ever. You know why nobody is speaking to you. No, it's not my fault you treat everyone like shit. Could've just ended after the first sentence but nOoOoOo that was too hard was it?
- thanks for not caring at all about an event that was really important to me
I fucking hate my birthday so much. How can so many people forget?! If I forgot their birthday MONTH they would probably be angry at me. My friend suggested to my teacher that we should write a very important test ON MY BIRTHDAY even though I kept telling her I don't want to do that. Guess what. He moved it to my birthday. So I wrote an important exam yesterday at 8 am AND SHE STILL FORGOT IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY. Literally only one of my friends got me a gift. Not to be that person, I could care less. But in my friend group we always gift each other something AND bake and decorate a cake with a theme the person would enjoy. THEY DID THAT FOR EVERYONE EXCEPT ME. Also my family got me a vacuum. A VACUUM. FOR MY BIRTHDAY.