Angst. -.-
So here’s the stupid, stereotypical, teenage “I have boy problems” story;
I met a guy during the marching band season. We were total strangers (he hardly knew me and vice versa) until my other friend (rather embarrassingly) introduced me to him.
Through out the season and even afterwards we started sort of growing closer together, well, until lately. For whatever reason, he won’t talk to me at all, not a shut up or even a fuck off or anything; basically completely ignores my existence. The one time he did talk to me (probably because he got a little annoyed that I wasn’t just going away like he wanted me to) I had asked him for a reason as to why he was doing this. The answer he gave me was a vague “you’re annoying” he also went on to say that that was the reason I didn’t have any real friends (which is kinda true; I haven’t had a real friend like what he used to be in years). I asked him to give me specifics as to what, exactly, he found annoying. He responded by giving me the silent treatment.
This is just the start of all my problems and also the main reason I started cutting myself again; the reason for cutting myself being that I’ve never really dealt with this kind of thing before and I really can’t handle all the mental pain that comes with it. I just don’t know what to do; I’ve tried talking to other people but they don’t want to hear it from me anymore and… well, I just feel like I’m stuck in a rut and can’t get out. Lately I’ve been thinking that since people don’t like me and since I can’t really change the way I am, that the only option that could possibly make me happy again is killing myself.
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Please do not kill yourself, don’t let one boy, or high school problems ruin your entire life in front of you. I’m assuming your either in high school and middle school? I personally hated high school more than anything in the world. I had friends, i was involved in sports and other activities, i just felt like everyone was so fake. Now that i’m in college though i can honestly tell you its a completely different world. There is every type of person here imaginable and its impossible to not find someone that is relatable to you. If you are in high school then your probably 16-18 years old, which means you still have on average another 54 year to live, to be happy, to find friends who will love you for you. Don’t give up now, giving up only means you let the other person win and you’re stronger than that. Go be you and live your life to the fullest, it won’t be all rainbows and butterflies, it will be hard, but if you can make it through high school you can make it through anything.
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