he was everything I wanted… and more.
I never used this website, so cut me some slack if I use it incorrectly.
So I fell in love with this guy when I was 13. Yes. I know I was young, there’s no need to remind me.
Anyways we met, he was your average attractive drummer in the band and I was just your average newbie. Who knew he’d ever be into someone like me? Who knew ANYone would ever be into someone like me? Well later that day we talked all night and I felt as if I was the luckiest girl on the planet. It was so cute. I was so young, I had no idea what I had ahead of me.
We began a relationship together.. He went everywhere with me.. and when he didn’t, we were always texting or on the phone or doing something. We were inseparable. No matter what people thought of us.
Then… it just stopped.
I was heartbroken. My first real heartbreak. That was the first day I shed real tears. I didn’t know what was happening. I couldn’t figure out where it went wrong or what I could have done to make him feel this way. Was it too much time together? Or did we drift apart while I was too busy being infatuated? I don’t know.
I left for vacation later that week. Great timing, huh. I had a nice time, I was keeping my mind occupied even though I still missed him with all my little preteen heart allowed me to. I returned and heard nothing of him. No “hey how ya doing”… nothing. He had already moved on to other girls and completely forgot about me. I felt like I was worthless.
Between that autumn and summer, we became friends. Good friends, actually. He rekindled his love with his former ex girlfriend and got his own heart broken as I found myself another guy. Eventually we both found ourselves in someone else. We still stayed very good friends. As the days went by over the summer I found myself again spending every minute of the day around him or thinking of him… it was so wrong and it made me feel so unfaithful to my boyfriend who was nothing but good to me. I couldn’t help it.
Both our partners began to complain because they became insecure and suspected more than a “friendship” going on. We distanced ourselves for a while only to go back to the way we were a few weeks later.
He didn’t like my boyfriend. I didn’t like his girlfriend.
Anyways we reached the last two weeks of summer and we returned to the place we met for our annual band camp. I was reunited with him and it felt soo good. I spent every moment I could with him and I could care less what people thought of me.
Eventually my boyfriend made a big mistake and we broke up the weekend after camp. I informed him and coincidentally, he was single by that day too. I swear we didn’t plan it, it honestly just happened to… happen. To make it even better, we ended up attending the same block party. I had no idea I’d run into him there of all days. His face lit up when he saw me and I bet mine did too; mine because I could finally do what I’ve always wanted to do since we broke up… Be with him without being afraid I’d make someone angry. And you know what? I did. I was the happiest girl on earth I used to be that night. I felt on top of the world, I loved it. I loved him. I loved what we had.
We ended up getting back together. From that month of September to April, it was just me and him. Sure, there were a few bumps in the road, but we got through them for the most part… until he began to change.
He was only 17… he was just as lost in life as all of us get… His family began to fall apart as we began to fall apart again… He missed his grandfather, he missed the way things were. So he turned to alcohol and weed, like your average small town kid that lived around here. I wanted to help him, a lot of people wanted to help him, but he would push us all away. It hurt so much to see him so torn that I felt a little torn myself… And as the weeks went by, I lost a little more of him.
He left us for about a week, and when he came back I felt like I had seen a ghost. The way he walked, the way he talked, even the way he looked at me… it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t that boy I first met anymore.
The past began to repeat itself and we took a break from each other for a long time. I didn’t want to meet anyone new, and he just wanted to get with everything good looking that walked by. He found a girl in the rich town next door that nobody liked but him. I was a jealous wreck but I had to keep reminding myself that isn’t who he is. That’s not my boy.
Camp came by and we walked by each other as if we never met. It tore me apart, man. It sucked like crazy. And of course he waited until the weekend after it ended to spark up an argument. Two weekends after things went back to its little silent treatment. I wasn’t the same anymore either. I was angry, I didn’t want to be around my friends… I hated to see anyone happy because it wasn’t me. It wasn’t a good thing. Guess you can say I was mad at myself for not moving on while I could.
Well he was single again by the end of September. His whore of a girlfriend had cheated on him. Great judgement, huh!
He called me, he texted me, he messaged me on Facebook, spoke to me in person about how he wished he was who he used to be so things can be the way the used to be… But he never really changed back. Isn’t it terrible that the best people change?
I guess you can say we have an on and off relationship. It’s not our faults, it just happens to be that way. He loves me and I love him. Why we’re not together? We are waiting for the right time, the time when things are normal again. Soooo we’re working on it. Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time though. It’s like leading a shark to shallow water.. Nothing really happens
Oh young love
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