here’s the unfortunate truth for me, that of which i could never say in reality. the first year of marriage is REALLY hard, especially when there is a step child involved. i’d say that makes it ten times harder. i’m jealous of those who can actually be newly weds. i could never say this to my husband. he already takes any negative feelings i have as the result of his “poor decision five years ago”. My 4 year old hates me. she’s said so twice in the 4 months today that her father and i have been married. She is a whiney little brat who i do everything for and make major sacrifices for only to have her not like or appreciate me at all and smart talk and whine for her grandmother anytime she is with me. i cannot win no matter what i do, i can’t win by being strict with her and making her mind. i can’t win by being sugary sweet to her all the time. i’ve tried everything in between. everyone else see’s her a a perfect little angel. her daddy says he backs me up, but reality has proven otherwise. i’m at my wits end and just found out i’m pregnant. what if our baby together hates me like his current child does. its not like her hatred comes from her mother. she’s hardly ever even around her and as far as i know she doesn’t have a problem with me. husband’s mother tries to be sweet, but i’m pretty sure that’s a big manipulative controlling lie. idk what else to do. ahhhh!

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