We’re great best friends. Maybe in another time and another place, we could’ve been more. I admit we have a connection that I’ve never had with another carbon life-form, but you just HAVE TO screw it all up by trying to make out with me while having a girlfriend. I’m no class B. Don’t get jealous of other guys talking to me while we’re hanging out if you’re texting your significant other at the same time. It makes me sick. I wish feelings of passion didn’t exist.

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