Miss you, baby
So your Facebook friend request sent me through quite an emotional process. Who knew social media could do that? I did the right thing, wrote you back. I leveled with you, told you that I can’t accept you due to my current relationship. She knows how hard it was to lose you. We are approaching 4 years from the day you and I ended, and it still stings. You left for all the right reasons, and those reasons made me face myself in the mirror and change. The lying, the whining, the sadness, the bitterness….it’s all gone. I’m so proud of myself, it’s all gone!
Now look at us. We both make great money, we both have a bright future, we both ended up in great situations. That I was holding us both back so long ago is a regret I will always have.
My fiancee is an absolute gem. She is madly in love with me, absolutely hilarious, and I did not make the same mistakes with her that I did with you. I did everything right and we laugh all day and seem perfect. But I do hold these feelings for you, and I feel that I owe it to her to rid myself of them. I love her so much….but she’ll never be you. For better or for worse, she will never be you.
I miss you Johnna. No doubt about it. I was really proud of myself when I went from thinking about you once every 5 minutes to once every 10 minutes. I tell myself all the time, that someday, I could forget about you all together. Only then, will I be truly able to be satisfied with how far I’ve come. You ruined my life…for the better.
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Dude, I have to give you kudos for being a man and recognizing the need to change and doing so. That is phenominal. Enormously so. What you’re saying is what a girl hopes for when she breaks up with a screwed up guy. She is hoping that one day he’ll realize that the pain she’s put him through is for his better, in the long run.
Well done for learning that lesson and not taking your entire life to do so.
Well done for findig a fantastic woman who loves you and appreciates you. Hang onto her man. Your fiancee sounds like a wonderful person. Hang onto her. Don’t ever, ever, EVER let her go. No matter what. Ok?
It’s impossible to forget someone. Healing manifests itself when you can look back on those memories without pain, without regret, without wondering, without the feeling of loss. But instead looking back on them and appreciating them for what they were and learning from them to better yourself as a person, husband and maybe even one day a Father. Yeah, I know it’s hard. But with time comes healing and with healing comes strength to do the RIGHT and GOOD thing.
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