Just Average
For the past 5 years of my life it seems like every choice I made has put me in a position to be just less than successful. I am a bit competitive and have been failing to “hit a homerun” in many areas. My relationships, my work, my family life, my financial decisions, my friendships all seem half-assed, if you know what I mean.
In relationships it’s been the wrong guy at the right time or the right guy at the wrong time or the right guy and I was an idiot about giving it my everything.
At work, I’ve been just moving from job to job not finding anything that is fulfilling or that I am even good at…always missing goal by a fraction of a percent, missing deadlines by a day, or flat out frustrating people either on my team or my clients.
With my family, I can’t seem to get it together. I forget to look at the homework agenda every night and then we miss an assignment. With my dad I keep saying “I’ll stop by” then am too busy or tired from being busy to just get over there.
My financial decisions are a joke. I thought it was smart to buy a house when I did and now it’s either keep the house or keep food on the table and I have nothing to show for years of paying on a house that’s now worth less than I owe and needs a bunch of work.
My friendships are just less than fulfilling they seem one-sided and/or not even “real” friendships. New friends are tough to find.
Obviously, I am not a victim of my surroundings but seriously trying to figure out what the heck is going on. I used to be good at many things and now I don’t think I am good at anything. I am feeling a bit like a failure though by many people’s standards, I am successful.
The fall from my high horse has left me a bit dazed and confused. I am now a lot more humble and am finally shedding my know it all skin, one layer at a time. I could use some advice about how to accept that I really am nothing any more special than every person who worked hard to get where they are. Darn, I wanted to be outstanding. I am average. I used to know what I wanted, guess I was wrong so, now what?
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