A wee bit about myself

11:37pm October 09 2009 ~ 0 Responses · About high school.

So there was a few things about me, that has stayed in tact over the years, Which is surprising because I’m simply god damn crazy and I never make sense, but anyway. Sometimes, usually, I can’t stand going to bed, saying goodbye for a day I’ll never get back, with being mad at someone. Especially if I’m in a thing with some dude, I can’t stand going to bed not saying I love you. And I’m usually
in a thing, with some guy, because I guess I’m found attractive and a lot of guys wants me. I could care less though, because in highschool, most guys only want a few things. Hot girlfriends, sex, parties. Oh and video games and its even better if it’s an online game, and being with their snot nosed, damnassed friends. Or something across those though lines. Whatever. I’m pretty mature for my age though, I just get boy crazy sometimes, because I’m simply a lust demon, Easy as that.
Not that I quite mind though. Anyway, I don’t like going to bed mad at my boyfriend, at the given time right now is Terrence, because
it hurts, and I do whatever takes the pain away. Its another thing I do. I do whatever makes the pain subside. That makes more sense
then the first, right? Eh, probably not. Fuck that. Maybe I’m just some ugly fucker, but I don’t really think guys really care much, as long as you have a vagina. And hair. On your head anyway. I think fast, I do everything fast. Fast fast fast. I’m always messing with something, and so I just do things fast first off. So I tend to not really, but really get over things pretty damn fast, one of the reasons why I don’t like going to bed not “making up” up with whoever, because it just makes me feel shitty. Well shittier. Fuck that goddamn shit. I know must people are full of lies, and guys follow that utterly. I don’t give much of a fuck, which makes it easier to get over things, because I just think fuck it. there should be more people like me, well it’s best that there probably isn’t because a lot of people would be dead. or just dying. But everyone is dying if you think about it. And I rarely go to bed at a good time, my sleeping schedule is all fucking up, but I have real bad insomnia and I can’t really ddo much about it. Well not that I know of anyway, I’ve tried. So I’m fucked while the other little fucker is fucking sleeping his little god damn balls off and I’m up just feeling shitty trying not to kill myself. Living really shouldn’t be hard, it really shouldn’t but for crazy people of all sorts, or maybe just me, nah, it can’t be that, i’ve watched too many movies to know better. I just hate living. I’m manic bi polar depressive. So fuck that. And I probably have angry issues, but who really knows? Fuck that.. People is annoy the shit outta me. Whats worse than people are fake little fuckers. God damn those people bother me. Then again I’m fake, in a way, if you think about it. I’ll come off as a real happy fuck, real happy. Hell I’ll even make you happy, It’s just something pointless I can really do. I can make it feel like your ontop of the fucking world. But hell, I’m bound to push you off, and watch you fall, because that’s what has happen to me before. It’s gotta happen to you someday, so hell I’d be the one for ya to come to. I’ll do it nice and clean. Well not really, you can’t really do things like that, that change your life nice and clean. But for something damn messy I can do it pretty god damn clean. That’s not really going to get me far is it? Maybe in a nice tombstone. Wait no, I want to be burned if I have to pick between the two. But I want my death to be a real something. Fuck that boo hoo car accident shit, I wanna be found at the bottom of a river, or naked and cut up in an abandoned place, You know? something real fucked up. I’ve been narrowing it down though, like hanging myswelf on some well known intersection. That’d one would be hard though, Which is even more of a challenge. But I love challenges. Fucking them the little bastards, they momentarily capture my interest. Which is nice, because I really can’t stand thinking about myself. Or just thinking, Can’t stand it. Makes me fucking depressed because thats when the truth is revealed. I lay in bed a lot, to try to sleep. I love to sleep, Maybe because I can’t sleep a lot, so when I do it’s just so god damned great
.

Fuck you.